by Secret Admirers: Where Mystery Meets Mild Stalking
Secret admirers are the rom-com subplot of real life–except with more awkwardness and slightly creepy handwriting. You receive a note: “I’ve always liked you ” and immediately cycle through every human you’ve ever made eye contact with in sixth grade. Panic. Delight. Mild concern.
The gifts are always confusing. A single daisy. A mixtape. A ceramic turtle with a heart-shaped saddle. Is it love? Is it a warning? No one knows. You display it on your desk like a trophy of ambiguous romance.
There’s always one coworker who’s way too into it. “Oooh, maybe it’s Brad from accounting!” You know it’s not. Brad thinks your name is Susan. You let her believe. You both need this.
You try to write a response. You stress for hours over the wording. “Dear Mysterious Affection Unit ” sounds wrong. You abandon it. You hope for a second note. You start dressing nicer. You spiral.
Secret admirers are confusing, thrilling, and emotionally risky. Sometimes it’s sweet. Sometimes it’s Steve from IT. But for one shining moment, you were a rom-com lead–before the mystery faded, the flowers wilted, and your dignity bloomed just a little. Love-ish wins.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
