by Why People Who Pitch Their Startup on Dates Think Romance Requires a Cap Table
People Who Pitch Their Startup on Dates treat dinner like a demo day and eye contact like an investor meeting. “So imagine Uber, but for emotions,” says a man halfway through appetizers. She thought they were discussing childhood pets. He pulls out a deck. It has slides. She orders a drink. Fast.
These romance-pivoting hustlers view every flirtation as a chance to scale. One woman handed out beta access codes with her number. Another pitched her gluten-free dating app over oysters and ended the date with “I’ll circle back.” The guy tried to kiss her. She sent a calendar invite instead. It was titled “Post-Match Debrief.”
In a fictional romance-market analysis by the Institute of Personal Monetization, 85% of pitch-on-daters said they were “just testing market fit.” The rest said “user feedback” is their love language. One man slid a term sheet across the table after dessert. It included equity in his feelings. She signed her exit strategy on a napkin.
Ambition is attractive. But if your date feels like Shark Tank without the drama or equity, maybe pause the pitch. Not everything needs a roadmap. Some things just need wine, chemistry, and silence while someone eats bread. You can fundraise tomorrow. Tonight, just be human.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
