by Why People Who Flirt Using LinkedIn Treat Endorsements Like Foreplay
People Who Flirt Using LinkedIn treat “Congratulations on your promotion” like a pickup line and mutual connections like fate. “I couldn’t help but notice your experience in B2B SaaS,” reads the DM that’s definitely not about business. Another opens with “Let’s connect ??” and ends with “What’s your love language?” Sir. This is a résumé.
These romantic networkers blur the line between career and cringe. One woman responded to a job offer with “Only if we grab drinks first ??.” Another man endorsed someone for “Time Management” and “Being Hot.” HR sent a strongly worded email and a lavender-scented cease and desist.
In a fictional workplace romance audit by the Institute of Misused Platforms, 82% of LinkedIn flirters claimed their intentions were “professional… with potential.” The rest were just banned from Indeed. One guy tried to schedule a coffee chat and sent a calendar invite titled “Networking & Chemistry.” She declined. Publicly. With a screenshot.
Flirting is fine. But if your idea of romance involves Excel metaphors and unsolicited skill endorsements, maybe log off. LinkedIn is for jobs–not vibes. And if you must shoot your shot, at least don’t open with “Looking to fill a role–emotionally.”
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
