by Unexpected Reunions: Because Life Loves Jump Scares
Unexpected reunions are nature’s way of saying, “Surprise! You’re underdressed and emotionally unprepared.” Whether it’s your ex at the DMV or your 5th grade teacher at a Taco Bell, these moments never come with warning labels or time to fix your eyebrows.
I ran into an old flame at the grocery store. My cart had frozen waffles, cat litter, and two bottles of wine. Nothing screams “thriving” like carbs and regret in bulk. She looked amazing, like she moisturizes with money and closure. I looked like a walking Pinterest fail.
Unexpected reunions turn you into a weird version of yourself. Suddenly you’re overexplaining your job. “I run a very important spreadsheet-based ecosystem.” What does that mean? No one knows. Not even me. But I said it with CEO energy while holding a Lunchable.
There’s always that five-second stare where both of you try to remember if you’re supposed to hug or sue each other. You settle on the awkward arm-touch thing people do in rom-coms before someone gets hit by a bus. Then you both say “We should totally catch up!” which is code for “Never again, if the gods are kind.”
I once bumped into an old college roommate I owed money to. I panicked and pretended to be my own twin. He bought it. Either I’m a great liar or he was just relieved not to relive dorm life and bad decisions.
But hey, reunions remind us how far we’ve come–or how far we’ve fallen. Either way, it’s a live-action flashback with better lighting and worse Wi-Fi. Just smile, wave, and walk briskly toward a bathroom or fake phone call. You’ll survive. Barely.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
