by Why People Who Want You to Join Their MLM Think Friendship Is a Sales Funnel
People Who Want You To Join Their MLM disguise capitalism as connection. “Hey girl, long time no talk!” reads the DM from someone you haven’t seen since middle school. Thirty seconds later: “Have you ever wanted to be your own boss?” You block them. They follow up on LinkedIn. With a pitch deck.
These hustle-huggers treat relationships like recruitment drives. One man invited his cousin to a BBQ, then handed out branded supplements and a laminated compensation chart. Another hosted a “vision board brunch” that ended with a mandatory webinar. The mimosas were warm. The dreams were cold.
In a fictional entrepreneurial delusion report by the Institute of Monetized Friendships, 84% of MLM pushers said they were “just passionate about sharing opportunities.” The rest had a upline bonus pending and a closet full of unsold leggings. One woman named her downline team “Boss Babes Who Manifest,” and hosted weekly “goal calls” with motivational chanting and zero profits.
Building a business is noble. But if your model requires guilt, manipulation, and cousins avoiding your calls, maybe reevaluate. Friendship isn’t a lead. And if you truly believe in empowerment, start with a refund policy–and a reality check.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
