Blissfully uninformed, aggressively smug.

People Who Think “Not Watching the News” Is a Personality

They don’t know the Prime Minister’s name, but they can recite every line from “Friends.” Priorities, am I right?

1. They treat ignorance like it’s a cleanse.

2. “I don’t watch the news” is their version of a TED Talk.

3. They say it like it’s a rebellious act — against what? Facts?

4. They assume world peace exists until someone texts them otherwise.

5. They think “BBC” is a sandwich.

6. Their idea of staying informed is reading horoscopes.

7. They proudly don’t know who’s running for president but can name all Kardashians.

8. They think a blackout is just a candle opportunity.

9. They equate emotional peace with political disengagement.

10. Their take on the economy: “I dunno, vibes feel off.”

11. They describe world events with emojis.

12. They believe being “off the grid” means not following NPR on Instagram.

13. They get shocked when things happen, like it’s a twist ending.

14. They say “I like to live in the moment” — as long as that moment doesn’t include a headline.

15. Their political compass is just a spinning fidget toy.