by Touch grass? They haven’t touched a doorknob
Some people live on the internet. Others have become the internet. Here’s a look at those so chronically online they need captcha to prove they’re human:
1. The Comment Crusader
Arguing under every video, from makeup tutorials to fish tank builds.
2. The Meme Prophet
Speaks only in outdated Vine references and rage comic energy.
3. The Over-Analyzer
Reads a tweet about soup and writes a dissertation on late-stage capitalism.
4. The Thread Lurker
Knows everyone’s business. Says nothing. Judges everything.
5. The Cancelation Time Traveler
Already mad about a problematic tweet you’ll post next year.
Chronically online people: powered by caffeine, hot takes, and total disconnection from the outdoors.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
