August 3, 2026

People Who Brag About Not Watching TV

They don’t know who won the game, but they do know you’re spiritually bankrupt.

People Who Brag About Not Watching TV

They haven’t seen a single show since 2009, and they want you to feel really, really bad about that. They don’t just abstain — they exude superiority like it’s their favorite subscription service.

1. They say “I don’t even own a TV” as if it’s a personality test.

2. They react to your favorite show with “Hmm, I prefer books.”

3. They’ve never seen Game of Thrones but have seen your judgment from space.

4. They assume anyone who watches sitcoms is intellectually stunted.

5. They interrupt watercooler talk with “Who has time for that garbage?”

6. They refer to Netflix as “noise pollution.”

7. They say “I’m too busy living my life” while scrolling inspirational quotes on Instagram.

8. They think having “read a long article” is a conversation weapon.

9. They believe their refusal to watch TV gives them moral superiority over 97% of the population.

10. They still think “bingeing” only refers to disordered eating.

11. They once watched a documentary about monks and won’t shut up about it.

12. They ask “What’s a Ted Lasso?” and then smirk.

13. They call television “the opiate of the masses” while sipping a $9 kombucha.

14. They say “I haven’t watched TV in years,” but somehow know every Oscar nominee.

15. They claim TV rots your brain, but can’t remember your birthday.

SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com

How To Write Comedy - People Who Brag About Not Watching TV - They don't know who won the game, but they do know you're spiritually bankrupt.
How To Write Comedy – People Who Brag About Not Watching TV

Mila Ivanova

Mila Ivanova is a Bulgarian-American essayist and comedy club host. She teaches ?How to Satirize Bureaucracy Without Getting Detained? at public universities.

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