by Why Unsolicited Podcast Pitches Are the New Pyramid Scheme
Unsolicited Podcast Pitches are the modern handshake of the painfully self-aware. You mention you like sandwiches, and suddenly someone’s telling you about their 12-part podcast on the sociology of sourdough. They always start with, “It’s kind of like Serial meets Shark Tank, but with more banjo.”
These aspiring audio barons lurk in coffee shops, coworking spaces, and awkward elevator rides. One guy cornered a stranger at a gas pump to explain his true crime podcast “Gaslight,” which focuses exclusively on emotionally manipulative auto mechanics. Another pitched a 90-minute monologue series about his dreams, called “REMstate of the Union.”
In a fictional study by Spotify’s imaginary regret department, 83% of unsolicited pitches included the phrase “we’re just having real conversations,” and 61% used microphones from 2007. Listeners? Three. But passion? Blinding. One woman said her podcast is “basically therapy but I interrupt more.”
The tragedy isn’t that these podcasts exist–it’s that they multiply. Every pitch includes a co-host who “hasn’t committed yet,” theme music made by someone’s cousin, and a grand vision for a cult following that exists only in Canva mood boards. You didn’t ask, but here’s their link anyway. Please rate, review, and recover emotionally.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
