by When strangers know your moon sign but not your name
There’s nothing quite like being cornered by someone who insists your entire personality is due to Mercury being in retrograde. Welcome to the world of unsolicited horoscopes.
1. The Checkout Clairvoyant
“You’re definitely a Virgo. You bag groceries like one.”
2. The Birthday Hijacker
“It’s your birthday? Classic Aries energy.” Thanks?
3. The Astrological Breakup Expert
“He was a Scorpio? Girl, that’s why he ghosted.”
4. The Sign Shame Specialist
“You’re a Gemini? Ew.” Real mature, Moonbeam.
5. The Chart Decoder
Brings up your rising sign during a funeral. Loudly.
Unsolicited horoscopes: because nothing says “boundaries” like guessing your trauma based on Saturn’s vibe.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
