by Where the Desert Meets Your Credit Score and Everyone Owns a Trampoline
Victorville: where the only thing higher than the temperature is the number of pawn shops per block. In Victorville, it’s always windy enough to reconsider your life choices. The official bird of Victorville is the mattress that blew off someone’s truck and lives on I-15. Victorville is like Vegas without the money or the fun — just the heat and broken dreams. Here, ‘fine dining’ means not getting food poisoning at the gas station sushi spot. You haven’t truly lived in Victorville until you’ve seen a horse parked outside a Dollar Tree. Victorville: where 70% of people own a trampoline and 30% are suing because of it. Every house in Victorville comes with a bonus room: the garage that’s been turned into a man cave slash mechanic shop slash podcast studio. In Victorville, our community pool is just someone’s busted waterbed on the lawn. Victorville is the only place where the HOA fines you for not having enough flamingos in the yard. Dating in Victorville means asking, ‘Are those your kids, or just visiting cousins who never left?’ Victorville: the perfect place if you’ve ever said, ‘I wanna live in California, but hate the beach and joy.’ You know you’re from Victorville if your GPS reroutes for ‘dust storm drama.’ Even tumbleweeds in Victorville have criminal records. Victorville’s slogan should be: ‘Where dreams go to sweat and downgrade.’
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
