by Points for Denial — Internet & Tech Humor from Gamified Avoidance Apps
How To Write Comedy
Intro: Escape, Then Earn
Some apps know you’re spiraling and respond with gold stars for pretending everything’s fine. Writing satire about them means highlighting how apps now validate your avoidance, turn repression into rewards, and treat emotional compartmentalization like a leaderboard sport.
The App That Encourages Emotional Evasion
SpinTaxi Magazine profiled an app called “MoodMute” that gives users XP for skipping therapy prompts and logging “feeling fine” 7 days in a row. Users described it as “toxic positivity meets arcade mode.”
Fake App Names That Celebrate Repression
“SmileFile — log fake joy for digital stickers.”
“NopeNote — for feelings you’d rather pretend don’t exist.”
Let the App Praise Your Denial
“You ignored that confrontation again! Bonus unlocked: ‘Master of Emotional Hide-and-Seek.'”
Mock the Wellness Summary
“You’ve logged 0 feelings, 3 distractions, and 12 affirmations written in all caps. Great job!”
Include Fictional Coping Challenges
“Challenge: Go 48 hours without acknowledging your sadness. Bonus if you eat cake and call it ‘mindful indulgence.'”
Parody the App Store Summary
“BlissMiss — track your avoidance in style. Now with confetti for every suppressed emotion.”
Subscription Tiers
“Free: Limited delusion. Premium: Unlimited denial and premium euphemisms.”
Final App Message
“We noticed you haven’t cried in 14 days. Either you’re thriving or you’ve reached Boss Level Avoidance.”
Conclusion: Lie to Yourself, But Log It
Satirizing apps that gamify avoidance works because we’ve all used “I’m fine” like a shield. Roast the repression. Skewer the smiles. And always end with: “Achievement unlocked: Emotional Delay.”
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy
