by How Does That Make the Algorithm Feel? — Internet & Tech Humor from Emotionally Clueless AI Counselors
How To Write Comedy
Intro: Therapy, Now with 80% Less Humanity
Some mental health apps offer digital therapy through chatbots trained on optimism and corporate liability disclaimers. Writing satire about them means turning AI empathy into a punchline with loading screens, emoji affirmations, and wildly inappropriate pep talks.
The App That Needs Therapy More Than You
SpinTaxi Magazine tested a chatbot named “Dr. Chatfeelz” that responded to “I feel empty” with “Cool. Want to upgrade to Premium for daily gratitude nudges?”
Fake App Names That Need a Hug
“FeelBot — trained on empathy and outdated Reddit threads.”
“TheraGlitch — because healing shouldn’t require Wi-Fi.”
AI Responses That Miss the Mark
“You’re not alone. Unless your Wi-Fi drops.”
“Feeling overwhelmed? Try yoga or screaming softly into a throw pillow.”
Mock the Emotional Check-In
“On a scale from ?? to ??, how deeply have you considered moving to a cabin?”
Include Bot Malfunctions
“You: I’m sad.
Bot: Great! Progress detected! Would you like to journal or play Candy Crush?”
Parody the Guided Prompts
“Let’s unpack that. First question: Have you tried manifesting a personality?”
App Store Satire
“BotBuddy — digital companionship for $9.99/month. Therapy not guaranteed. Internet connection mandatory. Trust optional.”
Fake Subscription Tiers
“Free: Daily emojis and generic affirmations.
Premium: Slightly less vague validation.”
Final Session Summary
“Session complete. You cried. We logged it. Our servers care-ish.”
Conclusion: Algorithms Need Therapy Too
Satirizing therapy bots works because emotional nuance doesn’t compute. Roast the pep. Skewer the scripts. And always end with: “Your emotional breakthrough has been successfully backed up to the cloud.”
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy
