by Why Pumpkin Patches Might Be the Funniest Part of Your Week
Pumpkin patches are Instagram traps disguised as wholesome fall fun. You arrive in flannel, step into the mud, and immediately regret everything. Kids are crying. Adults are crying. A goat escapes the petting zoo and eats someone’s scarf. You try to pick the perfect pumpkin, but they’re either rock hard or covered in mystery slime. The wheelbarrow you’re using has a flat tire and a squirrel in it. A guy in a scarecrow costume sneezes and breaks character. You spend $18 on apple cider that tastes like cinnamon-flavored apologies. Pumpkin patches: muddy, magical, and hilariously gourd-awful in the best way.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
