by Why Public Bathroom Philosophers Think Tile Echoes Make Thoughts Deeper
Public Bathroom Philosophers treat the echo chamber of a gas station restroom like the Parthenon. “We’re all just flushing versions of ourselves,” mutters a man to no one, staring into the cracked mirror above the air dryer. He came in to wash his hands. He left with a three-minute soliloquy on impermanence and paper towel waste.
These porcelain prophets drop wisdom while the faucet drips. One guy lectured on late capitalism between stalls. Another woman gave dating advice over the sound of a malfunctioning automatic flush. “Love is like toilet paper,” she whispered. “You don’t know what you had until it’s gone.” Her friend cried. So did the janitor.
In a fictional philosophical hygiene study by the National Institute of Restroom Realizations, 79% of stall sages said they do their best thinking “between graffiti and guilt.” The rest were just trying to avoid eye contact. One man once carved “Being is becoming” into the soap dispenser. It was misattributed to Socrates. It was actually from Tumblr.
Reflection is important–but maybe not next to a urinal cake. If your deepest thoughts happen over a sink that only spurts cold water and regret, maybe schedule a coffee instead. The stall might echo, but that doesn’t mean it’s wise. It just means you’re alone. And possibly out of paper towels.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
