by A Humorous Stumble Through Our Collective Social Reboot
Remember when we knew how to interact with other humans without buffering like a Wi-Fi connection in a tunnel? Neither do we. Welcome to the era of Post-Pandemic Awkwardness, where small talk is harder than calculus and hugs feel like international diplomacy.
- You waved at someone, then realized they were waving at the person behind you. You committed to a double wave. Now you’re the mayor of Awkwardville.
- You tried to shake hands, but they went in for a fist bump, so you settled on a bizarre finger jab. You’re calling it “The Pandemic Poke.”
- Someone sneezed in public and ten people flinched, three made the sign of the cross, and one dove behind a salad bar.
- You forgot how to make facial expressions without a mask, so now your eyebrows do all the emotional heavy lifting.
- Working from home ruined your ability to wear pants with zippers. Casual Friday is now a civil rights issue.
- You RSVP’d “yes” to a party and spent two hours Googling “How to leave early without faking illness.”
- Meeting someone new feels like a game of Guess That Protocol–elbow tap? air hug? interpretive dance?
- You now say “You’re muted” in real life and expect results.
- You accidentally called your boss “Mom” on your first day back in the office. Everyone clapped. It was weird.
- You’re still not sure if it’s okay to cough in public. You held one in so long at Trader Joe’s you saw stars and a vegan Buddha bowl.
Post-Pandemic Awkwardness: because rebooting society is messier than your internet connection during a Zoom meeting in 2020.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
