by Why People Who Write Novels in Birthday Cards Think Hallmark Needs Their Truth
People Who Write Novels in Birthday Cards see the blank space as a challenge from the soul. “I couldn’t find the right card,” says someone who then fills four pages with cursive trauma, moon metaphors, and a detailed breakdown of the friendship arc since 2007. The recipient was just hoping for a joke about turning 40. Instead, they got a memoir.
These handwritten epics contain more plot than most airport paperbacks. One woman used a birthday card to confront her sibling about inherited emotional patterns. Another filled a card with a timeline of inside jokes and “what I’ve always wanted to say but couldn’t because Mercury was in retrograde.” It was for her boss. HR was cc’d.
In a fictional stationery sentiment study by the Institute of Card-Based Catharsis, 84% of long-card writers said they “can’t help but go deep.” The rest admitted they just like the drama of tearing up on page three. One man used a card to confess unrequited love and included a QR code to his spoken word playlist. The birthday girl lit it on fire. Poetically.
Thoughtfulness is lovely. But if your card requires a bookmark and a therapist’s co-sign, maybe pull back. Sometimes “Happy Birthday, hope it’s fun!” really is enough. Save the novel for NaNoWriMo–not Nana’s 80th.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
