by A Cozy Night In with Murder, Mayhem, and a Weighted Blanket
People Who Watch Documentaries About Serial Killers to Relax
Some people unwind with candles and classical music. Others relax by learning about dismemberment techniques from a guy named “The Butcher of Boise.” If you’re in the second group, this one’s for you. Here are 15 unsettlingly relatable signs you’re the kind of person who finds murder most soothing:
- You consider a triple homicide docuseries the perfect sleep aid.
- Your idea of “light viewing” involves a freezer full of body parts.
- You refer to serial killers by their first names–“Oh, Ted? He was such a planner.”
- You fall asleep to narrators calmly discussing blood spatter patterns.
- You’ve eaten popcorn during autopsy scenes.
- You’ve judged an interrogation technique like it’s a bad first date: “Too aggressive, Steve.”
- You’ve taken notes–just in case you need to profile your boss someday.
- You’ve calmly folded laundry while watching a re-enactment of a basement dungeon scene.
- You consider “Based on a true story” a trigger for serotonin release.
- You’ve watched the same Dahmer documentary more times than you’ve called your mom.
- You believe forensic psychology is just “cozy science.”
- Your favorite genre is “Murder with soft piano music.”
- You’ve ever said, “It’s not that scary once you get to know the killer.”
- You own multiple mugs with skulls and chalk outlines–and they spark joy.
- You feel personally betrayed when the killer’s identity is too obvious.
So if your idea of self-care involves learning about criminal pathology while sipping chamomile tea, just know–you’re not alone. Statistically, you’re probably sitting next to someone who’s also deeply relaxed by a triple homicide reenactment. Sweet dreams! ??
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
