by Why Nature Walks Might Be the Funniest Part of Your Week
Nature walks start with wholesome intentions and end with mosquito bites, poison ivy, and existential dread. You bring a water bottle, a granola bar, and a wildly inaccurate idea of how long a mile is. The guide says, “We’ll go at a moderate pace,” and then disappears into the trees like a woodland cryptid. You trip on every root. You stop every five minutes to “admire the view,” which is code for “catch your breath.” A squirrel mocks you from a branch. A bug lands in your eye. Nature walks: cardio wrapped in humility.
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