Because nothing says “hustle culture” like thirst traps in a blazer.

People Who Use LinkedIn Like It’s Instagram

Welcome to the professional networking site where job titles meet gym selfies and “Thought Leader” is code for “Please validate me.” These are the folks turning LinkedIn into an awkward hybrid of a boardroom and a reality show confessional.

1. They start every post with “I don’t usually post here, but…” followed by a 3,000-word TED Talk.

2. Their profile pic is aggressively filtered–just like their “authentic” story about failing upward.

3. Nothing screams “emotional intelligence” like a car selfie captioned “#GrindMode.”

4. They share motivational quotes with fonts that should be banned in all 50 states.

5. Their job title changes weekly, but their job? Still unclear.

6. They humblebrag about being “humbled” at least twice a day.

7. Every accomplishment includes “I cried in my car after this,” like LinkedIn is group therapy.

8. Their “networking event” is just them posting a photo with someone vaguely important.

9. They use #Blessed and #ThoughtLeadership in the same post. Blasphemy.

10. Their dog has a better résumé than most college grads.

11. They posted their Starbucks order to illustrate “brand consistency.”

12. Every post ends with “Let’s connect!” as if this is Tinder for consultants.

13. They tag 47 people who clearly didn’t ask to be included.

14. They use the phrase “circle back” unironically… in gym captions.

15. They’re probably microdosing and calling it “executive mindfulness.”

SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com