Because apparently not watching “The Office” for the tenth time makes you morally superior.

People Who Say “I Don’t Own a TV” As a Personality Trait

You’re at a party, enjoying a casual chat, when someone drops it: “Oh, I don’t even own a TV.” And suddenly, you’re no longer discussing hobbies–you’ve entered a TED Talk on asceticism.

1. They say it the way some people mention they’ve climbed Kilimanjaro barefoot. Twice. In winter.

2. They lean in like they’re about to share classified CIA intel: “You know, we just read instead.”

3. Their apartment is a shrine to beige. Books, plants, and a record player they “discovered” two years ago.

4. They still watch Netflix–on their laptop. The TV is evil, but the MacBook is apparently pure.

5. Their personality is 50% not owning a TV, 50% reminding you they don’t own a TV.

6. They say, “I’ve never seen *Friends*,” like it’s a badge of moral superiority. Okay, Karen. Calm down.

7. Somehow, they always know exactly what’s happening on *Succession*. But it’s from “cultural osmosis.” Sure.

8. They use phrases like “visual pollution” while standing next to a giant diffuser and a salt lamp.

9. They think they’re immune to advertising. Meanwhile, their $14 turmeric latte says otherwise.

10. They think TV rots your brain but spend 6 hours a day on TikTok “curating vibes.”

11. They’ve never watched *Shark Tank* but can describe every item on their local co-op’s shelf in great detail.

12. They bring up Proust in conversations no one asked for. Ever.

13. They think “TV people” are sheep. Meanwhile, they’re rewatching nature documentaries like it’s spiritual nourishment.

14. They assume anyone who owns a TV also eats processed cheese and watches reality shows. (We do. Proudly.)

15. They never ask what you’re watching. They just wait for you to ask what they’re reading so they can say, “Oh, something you’ve probably never heard of.”

SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com