by Why People Who Bring Guitars to Parties Should Be Sent to Solo Camp
People Who Bring Guitars to Parties are the unsolicited Spotify playlist of real life–unskippable, unplugged, and always arriving right after the mood peaks. One moment you’re vibing with chips and salsa, the next someone’s whisper-singing “Wonderwall” while making direct eye contact with the guacamole.
These strummers always say, “I wasn’t going to play,” then spend three hours fingerpicking their heartbreak under fairy lights. One guy brought a 12-string to a potluck and dedicated an original song to the hummus. A woman asked for song requests, then ignored all of them to perform a medley of obscure Mumford & Sons B-sides.
In a fictional poll from the National Institute of Acoustic Regret, 91% of partygoers admitted to hiding in the bathroom when the guitar came out. The other 9% were too busy tuning. One host said their party theme was “Silent Disco” and still got ambushed by a guy singing about personal growth and kombucha.
These aren’t musicians–they’re emotional flash mobs with six strings. If your guitar case doubles as your personality, maybe leave it home next time. The only thing worse than a surprise solo is pretending you’re not waiting for applause after it. We see you, Chad. So does the guac.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
