We get it–you’re 90% hydration and 10% smug.

People Who Brag About How Much Water They Drink

They don’t just hydrate–they evangelize. With the passion of a CrossFit coach and the bladder of a small camel, they must let you know: they’re drowning in self-care.

1. They carry a gallon jug like they’re prepping for a desert marathon.

2. “I’ve had 3 liters already!” is their version of “Good morning.”

3. They act like peeing every 11 minutes is a moral victory.

4. They treat dehydration like a character flaw.

5. “This skin? Just water.” Yes, and 42 serums, Claire.

6. They use hydration apps like it’s a game of emotional validation.

7. They post water selfies like they discovered H2O.

8. “Your headache? Probably dehydration.” Thanks, Dr. Dasani.

9. They sip loudly in meetings, just to make a point.

10. They believe thirst is a myth–created by Big Soda.

11. They shame coffee drinkers like we’re lighting cigarettes in a daycare.

12. They label their bottles with motivational quotes: “You’re halfway there!”

13. Their water has to be alkaline, infused, filtered, and emotionally supportive.

14. They claim water cured their anxiety, taxes, and seasonal allergies.

15. If water were a cult, they’d already be wearing the robe and chanting.

SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com