by A Humorous Take on Extreme Minimalists
Extreme Minimalists live by the credo: “If you can see it, it’s too much.” These are the folks who think a chair is an indulgence, who proudly eat off imaginary plates, and who believe walls are a luxury item. Their apartments echo louder than a motivational podcast in an empty stadium.
They don’t just declutter. They de-life. Their kitchen consists of one spoon, one cup, and a single almond for emergencies. Their wardrobe? Three identical black shirts that somehow cost more than your entire closet. Laundry day must be wild — or maybe they just bathe in the rain while chanting “less is more.”
Inviting an extreme minimalist over for dinner is tricky. They’ll compliment your decor with a concerned, “So you still use furniture?” Their dream home is a white cube with no doors, no Wi-Fi, and preferably no evidence of human existence. Even Marie Kondo’s like, “Okay, calm down.”
But deep down, you envy them just a little. No junk drawers. No weird cables you’re afraid to throw away. No 200 takeout menus you never ordered from. Just pure, stress-free emptiness. Until, of course, you need a pen — and they offer you a stick they found outside. Extreme Minimalists: boldly owning less than you lost under your couch.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
