by Hilarious alternative facts and wacky explanations | Conspiracy Theory Humor
- “Birds aren’t real” is the perfect theory – explains why pigeons always look judgmental.
- Flat Earthers spend more time explaining physics than actual physicists.
- “The moon landing was faked” – says man who can’t operate his own microwave.
- Chemtrails are just God’s way of saying “stop looking up and go inside.”
- “Aliens built the pyramids” – because ancient humans were apparently just decoration.
- Every conspiracy theorist’s favorite source: “Do your own research” (on YouTube).
- “5G causes COVID” – the theory that united anti-vaxxers and tech-phobes.
- Illuminati confirmed – how else do you explain the Kardashians?
- “Lizard people run the government” – have you seen McConnell blink?
- Every missing sock is clearly evidence of a CIA laundry program.
- “The earth is hollow” – great, now we have to worry about mole people too.
- Your horoscope is fake but your Facebook friend’s meme about Big Pharma is legit.
- “Dinosaurs never existed” – explains why museums are clearly just Hollywood sets.
- Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams, but it can melt my leftover pizza apparently.
- All conspiracy theories eventually lead back to either Jews or aliens – sometimes both.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
