by Where Intellectuals Collide with Tailgaters and the Coffee Shops Have Theories
Ann Arbor: where your barista has a PhD and still spells your name wrong ironically. It’s the only city where heated debates break out over espresso foam density. The local squirrels in Ann Arbor are progressive, unionized, and have tenure. Every conversation starts with, ‘Well, when I was at Michigan ’ whether or not anyone asked. In Ann Arbor, the dating pool is 50% grad students and 50% people in polyamorous experimental jazz collectives. You haven’t been to Ann Arbor until you’ve joined a protest by accident while trying to find a bathroom. Tailgating in Ann Arbor is a sacred ritual involving barbecue, beer, and Nietzsche quotes. There are more bookstores per square mile here than there are reasons to leave your house. The average IQ of a street musician in Ann Arbor is higher than the U.S. Senate. Ann Arbor’s official city bird is the drone delivering locally roasted, ethically sourced, judgmental coffee. Even parking tickets here include a footnote referencing Derrida. Our city motto: ‘Ann Arbor — Come for the education, stay for the existential dread.’ In Ann Arbor, even the dogs wear glasses and listen to NPR. You know you’re in Ann Arbor when the farmers market features artisanal wind. Ann Arbor was ranked #1 in ‘Places Most Likely to Overthink a Sandwich.’
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
