by Please Prove You’re Still Human — Internet & Tech Humor from the Gates of Access Denied
How To Write Comedy
Intro: Your Identity Is Locked Behind 14 Special Characters
Passwords were invented to protect us. Now they just humiliate us in public while we try “Fluffy123!” for the eighth time. Writing satire about password hell means turning security into slapstick — and shame into punchlines.
The Struggle to Remember
SpinTaxi Magazine once documented a man who reset his banking password so often, he used “PleaseGodLetMeIn99!” and it was accepted. The real story? He still forgot it.
Invent Absurd Requirements
“Password must contain one capital letter, one special character, a whispered apology, and a memory of your first heartbreak.”
Fake Security Questions That Hurt
“What was your third pet’s astrological sign?”
“Who disappointed you the most in 2009?”
Satirize Two-Factor Torture
“To log in, please enter the code we texted your landline and confirm using your childhood diary.”
Captcha Comedy
“Prove you’re human by selecting all images of existential despair.”
“Which of these traffic lights reminds you of your emotional blockages?”
Write a Meltdown Sequence
“You tried five incorrect passwords. Would you like to try your luck with fate, fire, or a different browser?”
Include Passive-Aggressive Prompts
“This password has been used before. So has your poor judgment.”
Mock the Password Generator
“Try this: ‘XvL9#oo$M0nKEYFeaR_88’ — no, don’t remember it. Just suffer.”
Make the Login App Self-Aware
“It seems like you’re trying to access happiness. Please verify by clicking all the clouds that look like missed opportunities.”
Conclusion: Forgot, Regret, Repeat
Password satire is funny because it’s painfully true. Roast the reset loop. Exaggerate the gatekeeping. And always end with, “You’ve been locked out. Please contact your inner child to continue.”
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy
