by Where Every Strip Mall Has a Story and Most Involve Boba
West Covina: where the GPS gives up and just says ‘You’re somewhere near a Jollibee.’ The only place where you can hit six boba shops, four nail salons, and a psychic in one parking lot. You haven’t lived in West Covina until you’ve had a first date inside a 7-Eleven and called it ‘chill.’ The city’s layout was designed by a toddler with a crayon and an unhealthy fascination with cul-de-sacs. In West Covina, people don’t give directions — they give Yelp reviews and prayer. Every family gathering includes lumpia, karaoke, and one aunt fighting with her flip phone. West Covina has more dentists than stop signs — and more frozen yogurt places than dentists. You know you’re in West Covina when your Uber driver is also your cousin’s ex-boyfriend’s Lyft driver. Even the squirrels here look like they’ve just finished a K-pop dance rehearsal. In West Covina, every high school football game has a snack bar that outsells Taco Bell. Most local crime is parking-related and involves a sacred Target spot. West Covina’s official flower is the LED strip light. The city seal features a traffic cone, a churro, and a slightly confused barista. Even our neighborhood watch groups are group chats moderated by someone’s Lola. West Covina’s motto should be: ‘Where Everything’s 12 Minutes Away… but Only on Paper.’
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
