by Where Every Day Feels Like Sunday and Half the Town is in a Band
Ventura: where ‘chill vibes’ are legally enforced and flip-flops count as business attire. You haven’t really been to Ventura until you’ve seen someone surf, meditate, and vape in one graceful motion. In Ventura, every coffee shop has three guitars, a kombucha tap, and at least one guy writing a screenplay titled *Tide & Time*. The squirrels here are vegan, in a band, and probably better dressed than you. Ventura’s unofficial city motto is: ‘We’re not LA, and we like it that way.’ Parking meters in Ventura accept coins, cards, and emotional support crystals. In Ventura, traffic jams are caused by seagulls having existential crises on the freeway. You know you’re in Ventura when your Uber driver offers you tarot readings and almond milk. Local laws mandate that every third person owns a surfboard and a deep belief in astrology. Ventura’s version of street crime is passive-aggressively rearranging your beach blanket. The fog rolls in just to cancel your plans and check your vibes. Dating in Ventura means matching with someone who owns four ukuleles and lives in a van ‘by choice.’ Even the pelicans in Ventura seem to judge you for not recycling properly. At least 20% of Ventura’s population is currently filming a documentary about the other 80%. Ventura’s slogan should be: ‘Come for the beach, stay because you forgot what stress feels like.’
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
