by Where Laws are Made, but the Snowplows are Optional
Lansing: where the state laws change faster than the weather, and both require a jacket. Michigan’s capital — where half the residents work in politics, and the other half are pretending they don’t. Lansing is the only place where you can see a protest, a wedding, and a snowplow collision in the same afternoon. Here, the state capitol dome is the city’s largest Wi-Fi dead zone. If you yell ‘term limits’ in Lansing, three interns spontaneously combust. Lansing drivers treat red lights like ‘guidelines,’ especially when legislators are watching. Downtown Lansing has two speeds: ‘Session in Progress’ and ‘Where Is Everybody?’ There are more lobbyists than baristas in Lansing — and that’s saying something. Lansing winters are so intense, even the road salt is unionized. In Lansing, snow removal is based on a complicated formula involving astrology and hope. Every third person you meet in Lansing is running for office or from their ex. City motto: ‘Lansing — Come for the legislature, stay because your car won’t start.’ Even the squirrels here are politically active and own PACs. The political drama here makes reality TV look like a Quaker meeting. Lansing: where public service meets public confusion — with a side of slush.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
