by 15 Killer Jokes for Performing in the Land of Traffic and Tanning
Stand-Up Comedy in Los Angeles
Performing stand-up in LA means knowing your audience is half aspiring actors, half failed influencers, and one guy who’s just here for the Wi-Fi. Here are 15 comedy lines perfect for surviving and thriving in the sun-scorched city of dreams:
In LA, people put more effort into their dog’s diet than their children’s education.
You know you’re in Los Angeles when the homeless guy has better headshots than you.
LA traffic is like your ex–always there, always toxic, and somehow still part of your life.
In LA, ‘I’m working on a project’ means they’re on their way to pick up weed.
Our coffee shops have more screenwriters than scripts that get finished.
Yoga in LA is a religion, and the mat is the altar.
Plastic surgery is so normal here, even the pigeons have had some work done.
In LA, your Uber driver has a podcast about healing crystals and a screenplay about Uber drivers.
We don’t have seasons, just different shades of smug.
In LA, brunch isn’t a meal–it’s a casting opportunity.
The smog is so thick, Instagram models use it as a filter.
You haven’t lived until a barista corrects your life choices with a turmeric latte.
Everyone’s a vegan until they’re drunk near a taco truck.
Our earthquakes are just Mother Nature trying to evict influencers.
In LA, rent is so high your landlord includes a headshot review in the lease.
LA isn’t a city–it’s a lifestyle brand with a coastline. If your punchline can get laughs here, it’s probably Botox-resistant. Good luck, and don’t forget to tip your psychic.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
