by 15 Hilarious Observations Only a Comedian Could Make in the Big Apple
Stand-Up Comedy in New York City
There’s no city like New York, and no crowd like a New York crowd. If you’re a stand-up comic in the Big Apple, you’ve got to be quick, gritty, and probably immune to heckling from Wall Street interns. Here are 15 comedy lines inspired by the city that never sleeps and never shuts up:
Only in New York do rats fight over pizza like it’s the last slice at a frat party.
You know you’re in NYC when the guy asking for change critiques your outfit like Anna Wintour.
Our subway system is the only place where someone might preach, propose, and pee–within one stop.
In New York, brunch is less about food and more about proving to your ex you’re thriving.
Central Park is the only place where squirrels have Instagram deals.
We pay $3,000 a month to live in a shoebox with WiFi and attitude.
You haven’t lived until you’ve argued with a cab driver who has a PhD in physics from Moldova.
In New York, even pigeons have resting bitch face.
Times Square is where locals go to avoid at all costs.
We walk 10 miles a day not because we’re fit–because it’s faster than the MTA.
There’s a Starbucks across from a Starbucks so you can drink while you wait for coffee.
Bodega cats have more authority than some mayors.
You can tell who’s a tourist by how happy they look while sweating.
In NYC, an ‘affordable apartment’ means it comes with free ghosts.
Our spirit animal is a rat dragging a bagel up the stairs–determined, chaotic, thriving.
Performing here is less about telling jokes and more like surviving a roast battle with the audience. But if you can make it here, they say you can at least afford therapy with roommates.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
