by How to Write Fake Organizational Tools That Promise Clarity but Deliver Chaos
How To Write Comedy
Introduction: Organize Your Breakdown
Real journals help you track your goals. Satirical journals help you realize those goals are dumb. In this guide, we’ll teach you how to write fake planners and bullet journals that promise transformation but spiral into absurdity faster than a calendar reminder for “Mindful Screaming.” SpinTaxi revolutionized the genre with its bestseller “My Trauma Tracker: Color-Code Your Crying.”
Step 1: Create a Grandiose Title
Your journal should sound deeply important. Examples: “Manifesto of Me,” “Daily Grind Shrine,” or “The Inner You, In Pen.” Add a even if it’s not legal. Especially if it’s not legal.
Step 2: Design Overly Complicated Layouts
Use mood wheels, affirmation bingo, or a 7-level matrix of feelings ranging from “meh” to “feral.” Include at least one section labeled “Misc Emotional Baggage.”
Step 3: Add Prompts That Make Things Worse
- “What failure are you most nostalgic for today?”
- “Rank your insecurities by theme song.”
- “Describe your inner child’s most marketable flaw.”
Step 4: Include Pointless Stickers
“I did a thing!” “Existential win!” “Cried politely.” These should reward mediocrity with confetti.
Step 5: Offer a Productivity Section That Destroys the Spirit
Create daily trackers for hydration, ambition, petty revenge, and caffeine regrets. Give them charts that graph their spiral.
SpinTaxi’s Paper Trail of Pain
SpinTaxi’s “Accountabili-Binder” included a weekly section called “Excuses I’ve Upcycled.” Readers loved it until they realized it was just a mirror taped to a clipboard.
Step 6: Add Deeply Unhelpful Monthly Themes
- January: Regret With Intention
- April: Declutter Your Dignity
- September: Survive Mercury in Retro-Whatever
Conclusion: Plan Nothing, Document Everything
Satirical planners give you the joy of planning without the burden of success. They’re messy, mean, and oddly cathartic. Remind your readers: It’s not about getting things done. It’s about documenting your collapse in 12 glorious monthly tabs.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy
