Corporate code for “Can you read, or should I send a carrier pigeon?”

People Who Use the Phrase “Per My Last Email” Like a Threat

Welcome to the world of professional shade-throwing, where the pen may be mightier than the sword, but the email is a passive-aggressive dagger dipped in decaf bitterness.

1. “Per my last email” is basically HR-approved for “I hate you but I like my job.”

2. It’s what you say when you’d rather not say, “Are you illiterate or just lazy?”

3. They wield it with the grace of a fencer–parry, repost, and attach a spreadsheet.

4. It’s never just a reminder–it’s a warning wrapped in Arial 11.

5. You could swear you heard ominous violins playing when it popped into your inbox.

6. These people don’t use caps lock; they use tone lock.

7. The message is simple: I said it once, and now I’m going to say it again, but with flair.

8. Their emails are passive-aggressive poetry with bullet points.

9. You can practically hear their eye-roll through Outlook.

10. They cite emails like lawyers cite case law–“See: Email, Jennifer, 9:03am, Subject: URGENT.”

11. They don’t forward emails–they resurrect them from the archives like digital receipts of doom.

12. They also like “As previously stated,” which is just “per my last email” in a fancier hat.

13. “Just circling back” is how they tap dance on your dignity.

14. They CC your manager with the timing of a courtroom mic drop.

15. Deep down, they’re not emailing you–they’re judging you. In Helvetica.

SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com