Because nothing says “career-focused” like thirst traps with hashtags about hustle.

People Who Treat LinkedIn Like Instagram

Ah yes, the intersection of resume padding and emotional oversharing–the modern LinkedIn experience. Once a place for awkward networking and recruiter ghosting, now it’s basically Instagram with fewer abs and more acronyms.

1. They post selfies in business casual. “Just crushed another Monday morning stand-up ???? #LeadershipLooks”

2. They humblebrag like Olympic medalists: “Can’t believe I just closed a $10M deal while volunteering at an orphanage in Botswana. #Blessed #Grit”

3. They write inspirational posts that begin with, “So something wild happened at Starbucks today…” and somehow end with “…and that’s when I knew I was meant to be a CFO.”

4. They post gym pics captioned “If you can’t bench press your KPIs, are you even trying?”

5. They refer to quitting a job as “graduating from a chapter.”

6. They include “Empath” in their job title. Right under “Scrum Master.”

7. Their entire personality is built on Gary Vee quotes and standing desk photos.

8. They post professional headshots every 6 weeks like it’s a model portfolio for Excel enthusiasts.

9. They write 40-paragraph essays about being rejected from a job, with a plot twist, a moral, and a villain (usually “Chad from HR”).

10. They tag 12 people in every post, half of whom are confused interns.

11. They announce promotions with more suspense than a Netflix drama: “After months of soul-searching… I have big news…”

12. They refer to getting laid off as “rediscovering my passion journey.”

13. Their feed is 30% pie charts, 70% close-up photos of them fake-laughing over coffee.

14. They think “networking” means aggressively liking every post you’ve ever written since 2013.

15. They celebrate every mundane task as a “milestone.” “Just signed my first DocuSign–#GrowthMindset.”

SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com