Because nothing screams professional like a selfie with a TED Talk caption

People Who Think LinkedIn Is Instagram for Grown-Ups

They came to network, but stayed to go viral with emotional stories about interns and espresso machines.

1. They post 1,000-word essays about “resilience” after being 4 minutes late to a Zoom meeting.

2. They use phrases like “circle back” in birthday posts for their dogs.

3. They share headshots like they’re modeling for a law firm-themed calendar.

4. Their humblebrags have more twists than a Christopher Nolan movie.

5. Every minor life event becomes a professional milestone–“Today, I spilled coffee and learned leadership.”

6. They hashtag everything: #GrindNeverSleeps #CEOOfMyDeskChair

7. They write emotional posts about quitting jobs they started last Tuesday.

8. They tag Gary Vee in posts about their new side hustle selling artisanal staplers.

9. They use phrases like “thought leader,” even though their biggest thought is “Should I double space?”

10. They share inspirational quotes with fonts stolen from wedding invitations.

11. They turned their layoff into a 14-part docuseries titled “Rising from Redundancy.”

12. They comment “Love this!” on posts about quarterly budget cuts.

13. They post selfies with their laptops, captioned “Grind Mode: Activated.”

14. They think “networking” means DM-ing strangers with pitch decks.

15. Their entire profile is basically a corporate thirst trap.