They didn’t talk for 10 days and now you’ll hear about it for the next 10 years.

People Who Go On Silent Retreats And Won’t Shut Up About It

They spent ten days in complete silence and came back louder than a toddler on espresso.

1. Irony is telling everyone about how silent you were.

2. They describe not talking like they discovered fire.

3. Their eyes scream “Ask me about my retreat!”

4. They start sentences with “When I was meditating 14 hours a day”

5. Their new hobby is humble-bragging in lowercase.

6. They say “nothingness is everything” then post it on five platforms.

7. They gift you incense like it’s a sacrament.

8. Their phone background is a blurry photo of a mossy rock.

9. They drop phrases like “ego death” into casual brunch conversation.

10. Their presence is loud, even when they’re “centering.”

11. They cry during sound baths, and then narrate it like a podcast.

12. They call their coffee “a mindfulness ritual.”

13. They whisper but somehow still dominate every room.

14. Their suitcase contains robes and a superiority complex.

15. You didn’t ask, but they brought a slideshow.