by Office Christmas Parties: HR’s Annual Nightmare with Tinsel
Office Christmas parties are where professionalism goes to die, usually somewhere between the second eggnog and the copy machine karaoke. One minute you’re networking, the next you’re slow-dancing with Dave from Accounting to Mariah Carey while dressed like an inflatable elf.
The open bar is a trap. Carol from HR starts with a wine spritzer and ends the night crying into the fruitcake about her ex-hamster, Greg. Meanwhile, your boss is doing the worm in a Santa suit and yelling “Quarterly profits!” like it’s a battle cry.
The Secret Santa exchange is just passive-aggressive gift warfare. You get Sharon a $30 candle. Sharon gets you a broken stapler wrapped in last week’s sales reports. “It’s vintage,” she says, while you plot your professional revenge through spreadsheets.
Someone always tries to DJ with a Bluetooth speaker and a dream. We go from Michael Bublé to death metal faster than you can say “annual performance review.” Nothing says festive like “Jingle Bell Rock” followed by a mosh pit near the hors d’oeuvres.
By the end of the night, there’s mistletoe, mixed signals, and mild concussions. Dave is still dancing. Carol is still crying. And you’re trying to figure out if hugging your supervisor violated three policies and a building code. Merry Christmas!
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
