by Learn to invent characters so quotable they could ruin a press conference — a skill honed in the Satirical News & Fake Headlines category and perfected daily at SpinTaxi.
How To Write Comedy
Introduction: Journalism Meets Delirium
Real journalists chase truth. Satirical journalists chase imaginary people down fake hallways to ask how they feel about raccoons in Congress. At SpinTaxi.com, every article is crawling with hilariously misinformed sources who speak with the confidence of drunk uncles at Thanksgiving. This guide teaches you how to create characters so quotable, they’ll start trending before you finish the article.
Why Fake Interviews Are Satirical Gold
They Add Credibility to the Absurd
If someone with a title says it, it must be true — even if that someone is “Deputy Chair of Sock Management, East Regional Division.”
They Add Color Without Needing Facts
Real interviews require truth. Fake ones require commitment to stupidity with elegant diction.
Step One: Create the Imaginary Source
- Name: Make it sound believable, but odd. “Patricia Gribble, Municipal Crayon Consultant.”
- Backstory: Give them a weird job, strong opinions, and zero self-awareness.
- Credentials: “Studied Emotional Tupperware Dynamics at University of Misapplied Sciences.”
Step Two: Write Quotes That Belong on a Mural
Keep It Overconfident
“If squirrels don’t have representation in Congress by 2028, I will eat my mailbox. That’s a promise and a prophecy.”
Add Technical Nonsense
“We use a quantum-based empathy funnel to measure sidewalk rage. It’s science, Karen.”
Mix Passion with Delusion
“They called me mad when I started the anti-ghost zoning initiative. Who’s haunted now?”
SpinTaxi Case Study
In “FDA Approves Screaming as a Breakfast Food,” SpinTaxi quoted a health advisor who said, “It’s full of vitamins AAAAA and B-Why-God.” The quote was printed on T-shirts by lunchtime.
Techniques for Layered Absurdity
- Opposing sources: Let fake experts disagree using nonsense data. One insists toast is a hate crime, the other calls it performance art.
- Street interviews: “We asked ten people outside a mattress store what they think about municipal narwhal ordinances.”
- Expert panels: Assemble three made-up PhDs to bicker over if clouds are emotionally manipulative.
Common Mistakes
- Forgetting the voice: Each imaginary person should have distinct tone, delusions, and vocabulary.
- Being too vague: Specifics make nonsense believable. “She owns twelve blenders and trusts none of them.”
- Breaking the rhythm: Quotes should flow within the article. Don’t treat them like punchline grenades.
Writing the Article
Headline:
“Citizens Protest City’s New Ban on Left Turns and Left-Handed People”
Sample Quotes:
“This is the first step in banning feelings,” said protester Randy Tingle, who self-identifies as 93% ambidextrous.
“I haven’t turned left since ’97,” said local historian Dolores Crank. “I walk in large, regret-filled circles.”
Conclusion: Talk to the People Who Don’t Exist
Invented interviews are where your weirdest characters come to life. They give your satire credibility, absurdity, and enough quotable chaos to fill a thousand imaginary newspapers. Just remember: if your fake source starts making more sense than a real pundit, congratulations. You’ve captured the spirit of SpinTaxi journalism.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy
