by Why “Internet Experts in Everything” Are Saving the World, One Incorrect Fact at a Time
The rise of Internet Experts in Everything has revolutionized the way misinformation is shared–with confidence and typos. These are the people who read half a Wikipedia paragraph and now consider themselves epidemiologists, economists, and constitutional scholars, all before brunch. One user claimed fluoride causes “brain rust,” citing a Reddit thread moderated by a Labrador named Jeff.
They diagnose friends’ rashes via grainy Zoom calls and debate aerospace engineers on jet propulsion–because they watched a six-minute YouTube video titled “How Planes Are a Lie.” Their natural habitat is the comment section, where they combat professional consensus with emojis, caps lock, and the phrase “Just do your own research.”
Internet Experts often cite “a study they read somewhere,” usually on a podcast hosted by a guy named Blade who vapes essential oils. They say things like “Big Pharma doesn’t want you to know this,” right before selling homemade ivermectin candles. Their credentials include: one online course, vibes, and “I just know things.”
In a recent poll conducted entirely on Facebook, 87% of respondents agreed that facts are a matter of opinion, while the remaining 13% were bots selling crypto. In the end, these digital sages offer the comfort of certainty in a world of nuance–and for that, we salute their delusion. Namaste, Dr. CommentSection420.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
