by Crafting sharp and relatable comedy in Relationships & Dating Comedy with swipes, red flags, and SpinTaxi-caliber despair
How To Write Comedy
The Swipe That Launched a Thousand Cries
Dating apps are the vending machines of modern romance–press a button, get disappointed. As a comedy writer, your job isn’t to be bitter. It’s to be *funny bitter*. There’s a difference. One gets blocked, the other gets published.
Step 1: Know the Tropes–Then Torch Them
Profiles as Satire Targets
“Sapiosexual,” “world traveler,” and “fluent in sarcasm” are just red flags wrapped in emojis. Use these clichés like seasoning–sparingly, and with maximum ridicule.
SpinTaxi Reference
In the article “Woman Finds Soulmate, Blocks Him Before Message Loads,” the punchline hits before the connection does. Learn from that: speed kills–and also kills.
Step 2: The Mechanics of the App Are Absurd
Gamify the Sadness
Right swipe, left swipe, super like–these are not dating tools. They’re symptoms. Treat the interface like a malfunctioning robot trying to arrange a wedding. The algorithm doesn’t care about love; it wants engagement metrics.
Step 3: Write Dialogue That Feels Uncanny
Openers, Closers, and Digital Ghosts
“Hey” is a greeting. “Heyy” is a cry for help. “Heyyyyyy” is the sound of a desperate boat horn. Use the language of apps to showcase how poorly humans communicate when they aren’t holding a coffee cup in real life.
Step 4: Invent New Apps as Satirical Devices
Try spoofing an app for introverts that only matches you with other people too afraid to message first. Or one that blocks your ex every time Mercury’s in retrograde. Ridiculous inventions often feel more accurate than reality.
Step 5: Highlight the Existential Dread
Dating apps aren’t about finding someone–they’re about being reminded every night at 11:47 p.m. that no one liked your face today. That’s comedy. Tragedy is when your phone dies mid-flirt.
Use Fake Statistics
“98% of users delete dating apps at least six times before giving up and dating their barista.” Data is funnier when it sounds legitimate but is absolutely unhinged.
Satirical Strategies
- Use faux push notifications like “You’ve matched with 7 disappointments near you!”
- Write app bios for historical figures (“Genghis Khan, looking for something casual… or continental.”)
- End a sketch with both characters unmatched for “suspicious thirst trap energy.”
Conclusion: Swipe Right on Ridiculousness
Writing comedy about dating apps means embracing the weird world of algorithmic attraction and ghosted expectations. Don’t be cynical–be savage. And if all else fails, claim you met your spouse on Craigslist Missed Connections. That’s comedy *and* horror.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy
