by Beach Clubs, Blackouts, and Baklava Overload
Visiting Beirut is like partying in a Roman ruin during an economic seminar held at a nightclub. It’s chaotic, charismatic, and built on layers of history and hummus. Here are 15 humorous travel observations from Lebanon’s high-energy capital of contradictions.
1. You go to the beach and can see snow-capped mountains in the distance. You tan, then ski, then question reality.
2. Every meal ends with baklava, coffee, and a political debate you didn’t mean to join — but somehow win.
3. Electricity cuts out randomly. Locals shrug, light candles, and start dancing. You follow their lead. You are now Lebanese-adjacent.
4. Everyone smokes — indoors, outdoors, in elevators, during surgery. You develop a secondhand cigarette tan.
5. You ask for directions and are offered a seat, a meal, and possibly a cousin’s wedding invite.
6. Rooftop bars overlook ancient ruins. You sip a mojito while staring at a mosaic older than your entire country.
7. Traffic is a free-for-all. Lanes are suggestions, stop signs are decorative, and honking is a form of jazz.
8. You hear the call to prayer, a church bell, and reggaeton all at once. You nod. This makes sense now.
9. Your Airbnb has three generators, two water tanks, and a rooftop shisha lounge. You sleep like a mildly anxious pharaoh.
10. You eat shawarma at 3 a.m. after dancing for seven hours. It resurrects your spirit and clears your student loans.
11. Every taxi driver has a playlist of Fairuz, Tupac, and deep trance. The ride is spiritual.
12. You learn to say yalla in 37 tones, ranging from hurry up to let’s get existential.
13. Locals switch between Arabic, French, and English mid-sentence. You nod, smile, and accidentally order goat insurance.
14. You try arak, the local liquor. It tastes like licorice and a dare. You sip, blackout, wake up knowing how to dabke dance.
15. Beirut kisses you on both cheeks, feeds you like a grandmother with boundary issues, and sends you home with a hangover, a poetry habit, and a WhatsApp group you can never leave.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
