by Why Zoom Meeting Power Grabbers Treat “Can You Hear Me?” Like a Battle Cry
Zoom Meeting Power Grabbers enter the chat like it’s a throne room. “Let’s circle back,” they declare, commandeering the agenda and muting dissent–literally. One guy shared his screen for 32 minutes to explain why his bullet points were emotionally resonant. The file was blank. The symbolism was unintentional but accurate.
These digital overlords weaponize phrases like “real quick” and “if I could just build on that,” stacking interruptions like an emotional Jenga tower. One woman started her presentation with “Before we begin…” and never let anyone else talk. The meeting ended. Nothing had technically started.
In a fictional tech etiquette report from the National Institute of Remote Hostility, 87% of participants said Zoom power grabbers make them miss cubicle life. The other 13% were too busy fighting for unmute rights. One man looped his own video feed nodding so he could appear engaged while actually vacuuming. It was the most productive moment of the quarter.
Leadership isn’t just controlling the mic. If you’re turning every virtual check-in into a TEDx hostage crisis, maybe let someone else “circle back.” We can hear you. We just wish we couldn’t.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
