by Corn Mazes: Where You Enter for Fun and Exit with Trust Issues
Corn mazes are where autumn fun becomes a survival thriller. “It’s family-friendly!” they say, as you wander through identical stalks questioning your choices and yelling “MARCO!” at your child like you’re in a corn-based hostage negotiation.
The map is a lie. The signs are lies. Even the scarecrow is judging you. I once took a wrong turn and found a couple making out, a lost goat, and a guy named Todd who’d been trapped there since Labor Day. We exchanged snacks and despair. Still friends.
There’s always a corn maze overachiever. He’s got hiking boots, a compass, and an app. You? You brought a caramel apple and false confidence. Now you’re sticky, lost, and debating whether to eat a corn cob for sustenance.
The sun sets. The fun dies. You start seeing the same hay bale over and over. “Didn’t we pass that angry-looking crow already?” You did. He remembers you. He knows you’ll be back. Everyone comes back. It’s the corn law.
But eventually, you stumble out–covered in dirt, full of shame, and strangely proud. You did it. You survived. And you only stepped on two toddlers. Not bad for a fall Saturday. Long live the maze.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
