Because your MBTI isn’t a religion, Cheryl

People Who Take Personality Tests Too Seriously

There’s a special kind of person who believes a 12-minute online quiz knows them better than their therapist, their family, and God combined.

1. They introduce themselves as “Hi, I’m Brad, ENTP, Enneagram 7, Ravenclaw with a Sagittarius moon.”

2. They won’t date anyone who doesn’t “complement their cognitive functions.”

3. They have matching tattoos with their Myers-Briggs twin from Reddit.

4. They’ve ended friendships over someone picking “Strongly Agree” on the wrong question.

5. They bring up “attachment styles” at baby showers. Unprompted.

6. They believe the office would run more efficiently if everyone just knew their enneagram subtype.

7. They’ve laminated a chart that cross-references MBTI with Hogwarts houses and Marvel characters.

8. They own multiple mugs that say things like “INFJ and Proud” or “Don’t Talk to Me Until I’ve Meditated and Realigned My Personality Grid.”

9. They’ve taken the test for their dog, and yes, it’s an ISFP.

10. They once got mad because someone said horoscopes weren’t “scientific” while wearing a “Type 4s Feel More Deeply” hoodie.

11. They’ve tried to “fix” coworkers by emailing personality-based productivity plans.

12. They treat their star chart with more reverence than their tax return.

13. They think Buzzfeed quizzes are a gateway to spiritual enlightenment.

14. They’ve asked baristas what their MBTI is before ordering.

15. They ended a date early because “he gave off strong ISTJ energy and I simply can’t.”