Strumming the strings of empty musical promises.

People Who Say “We Should Jam Sometime” But Never Mean It

Ah yes, the universal music handshake: “We should jam sometime.” It’s the indie rock version of “We should totally hang out!”–full of hope, zero follow-through, and a faint smell of stale guitar strings.

1. Their apartment has two guitars, a djembe, and a dusty amp that’s been “getting fixed” since 2018.

2. They say “jam” like it’s a sacred ritual–but cancel faster than a Netflix show with potential.

3. They have a SoundCloud link in their bio but haven’t posted since the Obama administration.

4. You bring your bass over, and they spend the whole time “tuning.” Emotionally and musically.

5. They blame Mercury retrograde, bad Wi-Fi, or “vibes not aligning” for bailing every time.

6. They insist on jamming “soon,” but their calendar is mysteriously always “super slammed.”

7. They’ve been working on a concept album about dream states… for seven years.

8. You finally schedule a session–only to find out “jam” meant listening to vinyl and talking about Radiohead.

9. They carry a harmonica everywhere but have never once played it.

10. You ask what key the jam’s in, and they say “whatever feels right.” That means D minor. Always D minor.

11. They say things like “Let’s let the music find us,” which is code for “I didn’t practice.”

12. They know three chords and 47 excuses.

13. They post Insta stories of pedals and reverb but haven’t plugged in anything since college.

14. They once bailed on a jam session to attend a silent meditation retreat. In their kitchen.

15. Their most consistent musical act is ghosting.

SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com