by Why Unskilled Tarot Card Readers Treat Every Card Like a Vague Threat
Unskilled Tarot Card Readers treat every shuffle like divine prophecy and every card flip like a dramatic plot twist they barely understand. “This card means vibes,” says a woman holding The Tower upside down. “Probably a good thing.” Her client nods nervously and Venmos her $40. No receipt. Just a prayer emoji.
These mystical improvisers rely more on tone than tradition. One guy pulled three Swords cards and said, “You’re about to cut through emotional clutter–or maybe lose your debit card.” Another insisted the Death card meant “deep brunch transformation.” He also sells artisanal sage on Etsy. For $62. With no reviews.
In a fictional esoteric aptitude survey by the Institute of Improvised Intuition, 77% of beginner readers admitted they learned tarot via TikTok. The rest followed “witchcore” Pinterest boards and once skimmed the intro of a guidebook they now use as a coaster. One woman offered readings using UNO cards for “chaotic alignment.” She pulled Reverse. Twice.
Spiritual tools deserve reverence–or at least Google. If you’re reading fortunes but can’t name the suits or keep asking, “Wait, is this the one with the cups?” maybe step back. Or pull the Fool. Because it’s not the client’s energy that’s off–it’s your flashcard memory.
SOURCE: How To Write Comedy & SpinTaxi.com
